...so i touched it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
