my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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