i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
