9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she peed on how many people?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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