take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize