More tranny stories later!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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