alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Randomize
