On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
