You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
