Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
