that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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