hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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