just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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