Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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