remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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