There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
