You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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