id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
operation have a gay friend backfired
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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