You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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