the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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