I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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