i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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