and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
