Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
