nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize