weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
