when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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