too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
