the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
