I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
