i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
