This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
