I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
