If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
