you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
false alarm, still single
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