I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
