Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
