so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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