this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
