My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
