Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
