Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize