brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
