Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
