I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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