if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
