i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
