my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I want her autograph on my taint
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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