there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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