sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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