I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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