You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
