Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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