is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
