I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
