9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
