Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
