we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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