There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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