the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
