So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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