I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
