How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You can't special order awesome
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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