This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
