I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
